Woah! What Happened?

So, I'm deviating from my experiences in graduate school to talk about an issue that comes up constantly in the black community and, consequently, my life: The issue of hair and how black women should wear it.

According to some of my colleagues and friends, mainly male friends, black men are not a fan of black women cutting off their permed hair and growing their hair out naturally. I'm not sure of what started this trend of black women going natural, maybe it was Chris Rock's Good Hair, or maybe it was me (I was one of the first chicks on NCA&T's campus to rock a natural back in '06). Whatever the reason, I have a HUGE problem with MEN dictating to WOMEN what they should do with their hair.

I initially cut off my permed hair that I kept done on the regular because I was tired of waking up before my 8am classes to curl my hair and make sure it was LAID. So I cut my hair right after I completed my freshman year wanting to get dreads. Eventually, I stuck with the afro. Since then there have been many comments from facebook, twitter, and personally to my face about the problems that men have with this new hairstyle. What I DON'T understand is why it's so offensive for black women to wear their hair the way it grows out of their head? Why does any woman have to spend upwards of $60 for a relaxer that burns the scalp? Why do men feel they have any say so over the woman that they want to date, they're in a relationship with, or are just having casual relations with?

Although there have been comments stating that all black women can't rock the natural is that truly the case? Or is it really that in order to rock any style you have to have confidence? With men, and occasionally women, is there any chance for women to wear their hair naturally without feeling as if they're making a huge mistake? Some of the comments that I got as soon as I returned to A&T for my sophomore year from male friends included, "Woah! What happened?" "Natalie, you would get a lot more guys if you permed your hair;" and "I don't understand why you girls are going natural. Isn't it natural for you to comb your hair?" I was shocked and hurt by all these comments and more that I've heard from others that was not necessarily directed towards me.

Women don't tell men how to wear their hair, what to wear, or what their body shape should look like. Why is it men feel that they are entitled to give their opinion to women who may or may not care? If women shared their thoughts with men, feelings would definitely be hurt. So next time you want to give some advice about something that's natural, I'd advise you to kindly shut the fuck up.